Bad or good teacher?

Something happened tonight that keeps me up late into the night. You could say work drama, it pretty much sums it up. Yet what has come into question is whether or not I’m a good teacher. Just the thought of someone questioning my integrity, someone even suggesting that I’m not telling the truth makes me feel terrible. The word terrible doesn’t even come close to how I do feel. Because others might question if I am a good teacher, I start to question if I am a good teacher and if I can really do this. I’m not the kind of teacher who gives answers to her students or plays games with them all the time. I don’t drink with my students and I don’t hang out with them. I go in and teach them English by going over grammar rules, having them speak in class and have them give oral presentations. No, am I not a bad teacher, I’m a good teacher by the grace of God. I do my job well and I live my life as truthfully and honestly as I can. I am staying up late tonight because there is someone who has questioned my authority and integrity without even giving me a chance. I had no chance to speak, no chance to defend myself and now a false reputation could start. All I know is that I stand before God and not others. God is my judge and that’s all I need. I never thought I would have enemies, but apparently I do. Now the lord will be my strength, He will be my guide and He will lead me beside still waters…

The 3 Musketeers!!

Follow Me.Why are you so afraid? Go!

I was reading in Matthew 8 where Jesus kept performing amazing miracles. He healed a man with leprosy, he healed a centurion’s servant, he heals Peter’s mother-in-law and he calms a storm while He and the disciples were on a boat.

As Christians we believe these things have happened. We believe that when He said “Be clean” to the man with leprosy that he was clean. We believe that when Jesus said to the centurion “I will go and heal him” that He actually healed his servant.

And yet we find it so incredible difficult that Jesus can make us “clean.” That He can “heal us.” What little faith we have when we go through storms in our lives! Always being stuck in the past, wishing we did this or wishing we did that. Wow…what little faith…what little faith….It makes me wonder what I would do if I all of a sudden I got leprosy, or if I were on a tiny boat and a storm came crashing waves over me. I have such little faith now, what would I do if bigger things happened to me? We need to realize the grace that He has given us and stop being selfish and foolish to say that our sins can’t be forgiven. Wow, this chapter stuck me straight to the heart. What little faith I have, what little hope I have, how selfish and foolish I really am!

“He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases” vs. 17

So often we walk around with a disease, even though He has already taken it. I almost want to carry it for Him, but the end result will just be death. He has my infirmities. He has my disease. I no longer have to live death but live life. Live the life He has so freely given me!

“Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead” vs 22

In Jesus we have life, but wow it is so easy to still fear death. Its foolish to be so afraid.

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” vs 26

“Go!” vs 32 – and the demon possessed man was no longer possessed.

When I read these verses I felt so inadequate. The more I read the Bible the more I know I don’t know. I start thinking, what if someone asks me a question that I’m not confident in answering? I know so very little about the Bible! But those verses are sticking in my head:

“Follow me” vs 22

“Why are you so afraid?” vs 26

“Go!” vs 32

This is what I must do, this is what you must do.

Paul said speaking to the church of Corinth:

“When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you, the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.” I Cor. 2:1-5

What an AMAZING passage! I know that I will never be famous, I will not have a specific skill. I don’t have to know everything about the Bible to start sharing Him NOW! I don’t have to have big words or speaking gift. I am so encouraged that with the power of the Holy Spirit I can be used and so can you! Used not of this world, but used by God!

“No eye has seen

No ear has heard

No mind has conceived

What God has prepared for those who love Him….” vs 9

Change….

Life is amazing, even though it doesn’t always feel amazing. Life is exciting, even if you do the most boring activities. Korea makes me feel alive. Its not normal, at least for me. Its not boring, at least from what I have experienced. Everything is so different. Its not bad, just different. I used to get so nervous with Stephen’s driving, here the driving is nuts! Cars and taxis can run red lights if they don’t see anyone so I feel as though I’m going to get hit by a car/bus/taxi when I’m crossing a crosswalk. Motorcycles and scooters can ride on the road as well as the sidewalks so when I’m walking I feel as though I’m going to get hit by a motorcycle on the sidewalk! I’m not used to it yet, but everyone around me is! All the Koreans cross the road as if they are invincible! Taxi’s come to a screeching halt when they see them, and hopefully they do see them since they have tvs they watch in their vehicles! Yes, life is amazing to me here, and its far from boring. I find it easy to hide in my apartment, away from the craziness. Its so safe here, locked up in my house. Away from the crazy drivers and the Koreans who have no bubble whatsoever!

But it makes me marvel at how different cultures are. I was raised American, so coming to an Asian culture is different. Not bad, just different. The same would happen to a Korean if they came to America, they would feel uncomfortable because of the different environment. Not because it was bad, but that it was different. Do I miss America? Yes and no, I’m proud of my country in many ways, but I’m also embarrassed because of my country in many ways. There is no perfect country. There is no perfect government. There is no perfect food or way of life. That is why I love going to other countries, its fascinating. Every culture is different, and each nationalities is used to their own culture. The world is so different, and nothing is perfect. Yet God is perfect. He NEVER changes and He is my constant right now. I have a new husband, a new home, a new job dealing with a new country, new people, new coworkers, new friends, new food, basically new EVERYTHING and yet God is the same. He hasn’t changed in years and that gives me so much comfort. So today, as I hide in my comfortable little apartment with those things that are familiar to me I dwell on this. Everything around me is new, but God isn’t. He is constant, and I pray that that will never grow old to me…..

My classes September 9th

Hello all! I have posted a picture of one of my classes. I teach a textbook class Monday-Friday for first and third period, a situational class on Tuesday and Thursday for 2nd period, and a writing class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for 2nd period. This picture is my situational class! There are a couple class clowns in this one! Today I had to really motivate them to speak English. I had to teach them about a post office today! It was so much fun! Stephen and I are getting more comfortable with the students and with the administration and culture. When the students see us in the cafeteria or outside of our apartment they bow to us and speak in English, I am very thankful for this job! Its very exciting! Every night after class Stephen and I go to what we call “the toast lady”. She is a Korean woman who makes these amazing tuna/ham/cheese/cabbage/pickle/corn/thousand island/sweet sauce  toast sandwiches! Don’t knock it until you try it out here! We sit on a bench and watch all of the students running around. Its great to just sit back and realize we’re teachers!

Hiking Everyday! September 8th

Hey everyone! Here is a photo of where I usually hike! There are miles about miles of trails that I can walk to from my apartment! Its AMAZING! I go everyday! South Korea is about 70% mountains so the views are wonderful! The more I explore the more pictures I’ll post! The weather is getting very nice now, so hiking is more bearable!

Confused Teacher! September 7th

11 am

So yesterday was the first day of teaching classes and it was so much fun! It was confusing as well but it’s already teaching me tons! We had three classes to teach. At first Stephen and I both thought that each 50 min class were going to be different students, but it wasn’t. The first and third class were the same students, the second class was different. So, for the first class I was in the wrong room, no big deal, I was there early so when I went to my other classroom I was still early. All of the students were very well behaved, and were very nervous about speaking. They all were very respectful and I feel as though I will have no problem with them. I feel very comfortable in front of my classes, it all feels very natural to me. I felt very alive in front of my students, maybe a little too much, my voice is hourse today!

The second class was funny because one of the other teachers ended up getting double booked with me, so since I got there early he had to find a vacant class that had no teacher. Organization is difficult, there is only one person who does is in charge of 19 of the teachers and each teacher is in charge of roughly 30 students. So the boss is a little overloaded to say the least. The students were able to see we didn’t know what was going on, but that’s ok, you live and learn right? Haha, so the third class I thought was going to be a different set of students but they were the same, I didn’t have enough of my printouts and I didn’t have anything else planned to teach them so I just made up stuff as I went. You would think that if you weren’t prepared I would be stuck but I totally rocked it! I made them repeat words and phrases all over the room. I asked them a question and I went around the room having them each answer. It was amazing! I will do better today, but yesterday was a great learning experience!

Oh also, the second class is called situational class. There is a whole floor dedicated to mock scenarios in real life. For example I would take my fifteen students down to the mock airport, make them stand in line and pretend they are buying a plane ticket in English. It’s a pretty cool set up, but when I took my students down there it wasn’t open. Our boss forgot to tell us that they decided not to do it until later. Haha, it’s all good! I played it off pretty well! Hopefully tonight will go a little smoother!

Expectations September 6th

10:15PM

Things are a little difficult for me right now, we had placement testing tonight and it was very hard with one of my new coworkers. I feel as though she doesn’t think I deserve this job. I feel as though her expectation for me is to fail. It makes me try to think if I have ever made somebody feel that way. I am the only teacher here who has no academic teaching experience. I am very intimidated and I feel extremely uncomfortable. It’s just where I need to be. When I was a janitor I knew what I was doing and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I did it well. But here is different, there seems to be a different judgement. The expectation of me is failure. All I know I want to do is do my best and teach my best. I want to treat my students with respect and make them learn to better themselves. I want to love my students. That part I think will be easy, the hard part will be loving those who do not love me.

The actual placement testing was good, I did like the system, I think it was very good. The students were all very nervous and shy. They were respectful for the most part. I’m looking forward to having my own class so I can pour into my students.

Health Check up September 6th

2pm

So today we are going to get our health check up, it’s suppose to be a blood test and a urine test. Not fun, but it’s good we are getting it over with.  I think we are getting money exchanged as well. That will be helpful.

The health check went well, all is good. We are getting some money exchanged today. We have to make $300 last until we get paid. We have $3000 but we can’t take it out of our account. It’s kinda complicated, but that’s ok. Struggling a little today, but I feel like God is there for me. So everything will be ok.

Out in the Woods September 5th

9:10am

Korean women are so funny, the older ones that is. The humidity is terrible out here, just like north Carolina and they dress from head to foot. They usually have masks on there faces and huge visors. It really makes me smile. They hike past me, stare at me until I look up, then shyly look away. I love different cultures! I’m totally in my zone!